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While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?" 

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.” 

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!" 

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly." 

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this." 

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now." 

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?" 

"Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess."

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Super Wammer

great one Barry

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The Mexican maid asked for a raise in pay. The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about it. She asked, 
"Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason eez that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora. The gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"

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