barneys dad

Call Centre Scum. How do you deal with them?

64 posts in this topic

"Can I speak to the owner of the business"

You don't even know the name of the company you are calling.

"We're conducting a survey"

Like f*ck. Its a sales call.

"3 months ago, you agreed to place some advertising with us".

B*llocks, I've never spoken to you before.

We've all got to make a living (unless you've been the CEO of a bank tax payers has kept alive and have bailed out after 5 minutes in the job with a big fat lump sum, share options and a mega pension) but I'd rather pick the scabs of a rabid dead donkey's arse than work in a call center.

I've got to the point of just slamming the phone down on these dregs of mankind.

Anyone got any killer replies to make these wastes of space feel even more worthless?

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"We're conducting a survey"

My reply to one last night as I was preparing dinner "Well there's a funny thing thing so am I" .

Caller. "oh right?"

Me. "Yes, I'd like to ask YOU a few lame questions and maybe pop in some steamy sales patter somewhere along the line, I presume you have a few moments as you were kind enough to return my call?"

Caller "Er....."

Me "That's great, how many times in a day do you feel on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most likely) that you feel you piss people off?"

Caller.............>line goes dead<

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My reply to these people and it works every time. Just say im sorry I am unable to talk with you I have mental Health Issues.

Mind you looking at my HIFI system I have :shock:

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I just immediately hang up the second I know they're a waste of time. Unless I'm bored. Then i just repeat the same phrase at different speeds in increasingly silly voices. So they can't quite understand you. 'I like turtles' is going pretty well.

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I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

Cheers

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I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

Cheers

Repped. Thoughtful and kind response to cold calling.

I have nothing but sympathy for them and am always unfailingly polite but firm. Usually along the following lines: "Look, thanks, I don't wish to buy anything but I do appreciate that you have a tough job to do. Let me wish you better luck on your next call."

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Has any one been watching 'The Call Centre' on BBC3?

It is actually very good, the boss spends all his time trying to make sure his staff are happy! It obviously pays off as he has gone from a staff of 8 to over 200 in the last few years so it obviously works. :D

If you don't want the calls register with the TPS, or even if you haven't tell them you have, they hang up immediately.

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They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.

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I'm registered with the TPS. And the new way round that is that they're ringing with a "survey".

Last time I gave them a false name and answered all the questions, just to see how much junk mail I'd get (the caller assured me I wouldn't...)

Professor Smithsonian has had about 30 letters trying to sell him everything from double glazing to insurance.

Now, if the number doesn't come up on the phone display I let the answerphone take it.

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I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

Cheers

That's what I do, small business, time really is money, but I do feel for them, it's a shit job.

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Next time call yourself *the name* Cock.

:off: How very dare you! However, I do agree that you could compel the caller to hang up using *the name*. "By the power of *the name*, I compel thee to go hangeth up and not calleth me back!" That would surely work.

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